Timothy Kane: Initial Personal Reflection, Summer 2010

What barriers do teens face to having a healthy sexuality?

(1) Lack of communication and openness about sexuality leading to confusion and shame.

In the United States (US), clear and supportive communication around sexuality is lacking. Due to a variety of societal factors (cultural background of family of origin, organized religion, education, etc.), youth often receive either unclear or mixed messaging around what a healthy sexuality “looks like.” Machismo-misogyny-homophobia too often inform and define what it means to be a sexual individual, distorting the concept of a healthy sexuality. Especially during times of physical transition and exploration, youth lack non-judgmental venues which provide accurate, timely and age-appropriate information to support the development of a healthy sexuality.

In addition, a lack of communication and openness about sexuality is especially evident regarding the diversity of sexual expression and identity. Sexual diversity is often not celebrated and embraced, but rather demonized as a source of shame for both the teen and their family. Youth who exhibit and/or explore lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning sexuality are often blamed and isolated rather than loved and nurtured.

(2) Lack of role-models for sexual health, along with an omnipresent sexualized culture.

US culture is lacking in role-models for sexual health. Individuals and couples who exhibit sexual health are not easy to identify, let alone emulate. Often, television and cinema showcase individuals and couples with dysfunctional sexual expression (dramatic, extreme and/or abusive), normalizing such expressions while also labeling them “entertainment.” Sexual stereotypes and caricatures abound since they fit “neatly” into a half hour TV drama, neglecting and complexity and diversity that is our human sexuality.

In addition, US culture is a sexualized culture filled at every turn with mixed messages regarding the value and status of a healthy sexuality. Sexual images are a staple of the advertising industry, incorporated into every aspect of visual media. Youth (and adults) are bombarded with sexual imagery and messages equating sex with power, love, acceptance and happiness. Mixed messages which blur the lines between the reality of a healthy sexuality and the fantasy of sexual acting out, make it difficult for anyone to navigate successfully the complex variables which comprise modern day sexuality.

(3) High rates of childhood sexual abuse damage youth as they seek to understand and secure a healthy sexuality. This damage often remains with individuals for a life time, requiring years of intervention (therapy, etc.) to heal. According to http://www.darkness2light.org/knowabout/statistics_2.asp:
• 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
• 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.
• 1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet.
• Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under.
• An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today.

(4) The impact of these barriers facing youth seeking a healthy sexuality is magnified for LGBTQ youth. Studies show that LGBTQ youth are four times as likely to attempt suicide than are their heterosexual peers and those LGBTQ youth rejected by their families are more than eight times as likely to attempt suicide hhttp://gaylife.about.com/od/gayteens/a/gaysuicide.htm).